Step Families

Step Families
By Ginger Reeves


Growing up the man I call my dad was actually my mom?s second husband.  We left her first husband when I was only one year old and never saw him again.  Yes, I share his DNA and his red hair, but that is all I share with him.  My mom and dad married when I was 5 years old and he adopted me when I was 12 years old.  My mother was not his first, nor even his second, wife.  He had no children from number one but had two girls from number two.  My stepsisters lived with their mom in Florida while we lived in Alabama.

Life in my house was filled with love and encouragement.  Not to say we did everything right, because that is far from the truth.  But it was good.  Life however, for my stepsisters seemed not so good.  Their mom married and divorced numerous times during our time together and spoke very ugly about my dad in front of them; causing very bad attitudes towards my dad, my mom, as well my sister and me.  So much so that the last Christmas my dad was alive my oldest step sister got him nothing for Christmas and the last words she ever spoke to him were ?I don?t love you; you?re not my dad anymore!?

It was because of this upbringing that I wanted my family to be different.  I always wanted kids, but never cared if they were mine, his, or ours.  I now have my wish ? two wonderfully sweet stepsons and one adorable two year old that I gave birth to.  

The three boys live with my husband and I with my ?wife-in-law? about an hour away.  That is what I call Michelle.  I don?t mean that in an ugly or derogatory way at all.  She and I get along very well.  So much so, we have been known to chat about things not pertaining to the kids.

We have invited her family to Christmas Eve service at church the last few years, so Walker and Matthew can spend some special time with all their family.  We have exchanged Christmas gifts, birthday cards and calls and many other civilities that surprise many people.

Even though there is a history with their mom and their dad and many people today do not act this way, I will always welcome Michelle and her family into my home.  I love my step kids and will do whatever is best for them.  I never want to put them in a place where they have to choose which family, or which parent.  They can love all of us and we can all be part of their lives.